vegansexuals

Words cannot express enough how dumb (yet twistedly smart) I think this is...

Vegansexual? I can just see the painful circumstantial transition now...

"Sweety, let's have sex tonight."

"I'm sorry, didn't you have a hamburger for lunch?"

"Well....yes...but..."

"Ah, no fun tonight for you darling, my love, my husband/wife (c'mon, as if a real man would give up sex over a cow) of 25 years. Maybe next week when your body is rid of the flesh of the poor creature that was slain for your few moments of pitiful, selfish, lingua enjoyment I'll sacrifice myself for you. Until then, goodnight, sleep well, and keep your tongue inside the vegan cart at all times and enjoy the rest of your night here at Disneyland Veggyland, where cows reign and the black market smells of spoiled chicken breasts and In-N-Out." (If you get my meaning.)

What an incredibly powerful ploy to "convert" your significant other to a vegetarian diet. Mother was right: vegetables do make you smart. Maybe even cunning. A bit narcissistic to beat, as well.

Shun the non-believer!!

haunting prelude in playlist ---->>

my castle

When I received the last installment of the Harry Potter series in the mail last week I also received a few advertisements, which I barely noticed, if at all. In my eagerness to open the book, I flung the useless pieces of paper out of the box, over my shoulder (not really, but its more dramatic when its over the shoulder and not pathetically to the side), and onto the floor where they sat for over a week contributing to the process of entropy that seems to have a continual and foreboding hold on my bedroom. (I like to blame my laziness and apatheticism towards picking up after myself on a philosophical term. It makes the whole mess less grotesque and less my fault.)

But today when it became dangerous beyond adventuresome to get out of bed I decided I needed to do something about this "natural" process that has suppressed the force (choice) that could keep my miniature fortress tidy. And lo and behold, what should I run into during my all out war on "nature" but an interesting advertisement (yes, one of the "useless" ones from last week). It was so interesting it threw me off my guard, I immediately surrendered to "nature", let the mess be, and have since then plotted myself down here in my wooden chair to tell you all about the poignant, funny, and maybe even useful (and yet ultimately pointless in the same way that a microwave TV might be) message of this advertisement.

I almost hate to go on now for the fear that the headline may not be worthy of the above two-paragraph introduction, but humor me if you will and forgive my embellished way of saying "I found a piece of paper on the ground and here is what it said: 'When you leave your castle, take your life with you.'"

Ba-dum cha!

Ya, that's it. It's an advertisement for a Seagate external harddrive. You know, the little tiny box thing you hook up to your computer for more storage space. What I found interesting though (and maybe even convicting, you know, yada, yada, the usual), is that it references your computer as your castle, your life. Sadly, I know exactly what the advertisers are referring to. The feeling of dominance and royal-ishness that comes with owning a computer and abusing the privileges it provides is akin to the feeling (in as much as I can speculate) of owning a castle, a fortress that stands for my might and ability to conquer. Or, like Lord Farquaad's castle-complex from the first Shrek movie, it could merely be a compensation for something, which is more likely in my case.

Funny? No?

Oh well....I guess you had to be there. It was much more useful and humorous when I read it the first time. So much so I just couldn't help myself and had to get on my computer and spout about it. You know, conquer a bit of space on the web, create a tower, and a portable one at that.

I'm sure there is a philosophical concept/term I could find to blame for my propensity towards creating and depending (you should see me when the power goes out) on my electronic, intangible, but PORTABLE(!), fortress. The term escapes me at the moment, but I'm sure their is one. There has to be. My actions, surely, couldn't be my fault.

Damn the English language! I need a term!

Behold! The beast itself......like a bubble getting read to POP and wither.

if you haven't heard already...

here
here
here
and here.

I feel a bit awkward even mentioning it because I haven't even seen any of his films (that I know of), but its all I have been hearing and reading about all day so its clear this guy has had an impact on many. He must have been onto something and I look forward to partaking in the apparently powerful food for thought he has left behind in his wake.

Thanks to Netflix, that's financially possible.

good weekend.

...lots of reading (wuthering heights, by emily bronte; a bit of the picture of dorian gray, by oscar wilde)
pleasant day at work on saturday (no death threats)
rescue dawn, again
1408
angels baseball game (can't beat a 13-4 win, now can we?)
church and in-n-out with friends.

I needed this weekend.
badly.
and I have tomorrow off of work.
hallelujah.
I am going to bed now.
early.
my slumber awaits, shut eye 'til dawn, a dream or two.
goodnight.

kill the fly. kill the dog.

"A goal is a dream with a deadline." - unknown

Well if that doesn't ruffle some of my feathers, nothing will. I now wonder if my goals have anything to do with who I am, or if they have more to with who I think I should be. It is the question of the hour. The question of this day. This week, month, year...my life.

I sense a night of earnest contemplation ahead, where the weighings of what is and what isn't battle to fill the void of my future. Sleep can wait. I'm not enthusiastic with life at the moment, so let's hope tomorrow isn't just another day, but is a different day. Like a musical track on repeat, my life is becoming annoying and predictable. For me, and for others. Now we don't want that, now do we? I think its time I freak myself out and jump the plank off of this sail-less, rudder-less ship and join the rest of humanity in the shark invested waters of growth and opportunity.

"Conscience is a nuisance. A fly. A barking dog." - Captain Argall, The New World

Kill the fly. Kill the dog.

youtubeoverdose (seriously, 10 videos?)

Its been a while since I have had a good healthy fix of YouTube (two days, actually). But here are a few videos I have weeded out of the murky halls of the cyber galaxy. Try not to watch them all at once...it might result in an overdose. If that happens, you're screwed. Like me. Don't do it man!

Arrested Development: one of the best (in the Top 10 somewhere) television shows ever. And yet, only three seasons. Booo!


---Escape from Iraq: Arrested Development Style



---Oh, Tobias.



---Here's the deal: Tobias "left" his wife and now wants to see his daughter, so he pulls a "Mrs. Doubtfire", but calls himself "Mrs. Featherbottom" and then shakes in a bit of "Marry Poppins'" umbrella floating...or tries.


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Besides the fact that this entire music video is one shot, there should be no (if I were healthy) other reasons why I should like it. And yet, there are many. Forgive me.



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Monty Python's The Meaning of Life: "Every Sperm Is Sacred"

It's Monty Python. You know the drill. A little bit of crassness here, a little vulgarity there, a butt-cheek or boob flash anywhere...but its OK...they're British.





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Michel Gondry: the director of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (my favorite movie (ever), but for reasons I'm not yet sure of...)



Speaking of which:



-------
Judy Garland

---And you thought Frank Sinatra sang the best version of this song...
(For the record, I love Frank Sinatra. He got beat by a girl on this one though.)

---disclaimer---

well....

....its over.

*sniff*

More on that later though.

Right now, I need sleep.

All this war and weeping has exhausted me.

ran, ikiru, hairspray, harry potter and the order of the phoenix

Ran (1985)
You know, I really, really tried to get into this movie, but it just wasn't doing it for me. I'm either not patient enough at this time in my life, or I'm approaching it from the wrong perspective. :/ Maybe in a few years...

------
Ikiru (1952)
This was delightful surprise! I was scared going into this one after my failed attempt at "Ran". It only took a few minutes for me realize how much of a different movie it was going to be. It raises alot of questions about death and how many of us are just pulsing forms of it. I guess you could call Ikiru a "zombie movie". In reverse.

:: A

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Hairspray has 74 reviews on rottentomatoes.com and is at 95% freshness. This is really starting to scare me. Am I actually going to have to go and see this thing now? I quiver at the notion that I might enjoy several hours of a flaunting, bosomed Travolta in tights. Shudder!

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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)



THE GOOD:
helena bonham carter -- best twenty seconds of the movie...

THE BAD:
the length -- too short

THE UGLY:
the curtain -- poorly executed

--The scene with Dumbledor and Voldemort was intensely satisfying. And Harry's struggle with Voldemort in the end was heartbreaking. It was the first time I actually felt incredibly sad for Harry during one of the movies. That was unexpected.(save perhaps when he comes back with Cedric's body).

--Nicholas Hooper's score blended seamlessly with the movie, but it still isn't that great on CD (though its better now with context).

--Newspaper transitions. Niiice.

--I cannot say enough good things about Carter's performance as Bellatrix Lestrange. So good. It doesn't hurt that she's in that greasy, mangled hair either. Being evil is a bonus as well. I want to marry her. I don't know what she sees in that Burton guy. Passion? Bah! I've got passion!

--It was too short. Nearly 30 minutes too short. And the IMAX 3D was crap. Ironically it took me out of the movie instead of "immersing" me in it. The film is much better without the 3D.

--The death curtain was not developed enough. I knew what it was, I knew what was going to happen, but if I hadn't read the book I probably would have been confused.

--Most of what I could say about the film I am sure you have read elsewhere, so I won't say much more. It was good, not as good as Azkaban, but better than all the others. I like David Yates' direction and look forward to his next installment.

--Prediction one, confirmed. Two through six will have to wait until Monday morning. I'm going fishing this weekend and won't be back until late Sunday night, but I won't be back online until after I finish that book. Hopefully by Tuesday. Byyye.

::B+



Awww, we're so cute.

I gave up on myspace last year and just started Facebook in June. Myspace was more annoying than it was helpful with all the crazy colors and blasting music. It confused my simple brain. I thought Facebook was going to be the same, but I was wrong. Its clean and sophisticated...like me. Stop laughing.

(Speaking of clean and sophisticated...there's this b!*$%-slapping and sheep-throwing feature that's fun...)

Look me up. Heaven knows the only reason we aren't friends yet is because I haven't found you...*stalk, stalk*

the cause of spiritual stupidity

I began reading C.S. Lewis's George MacDonald: An Anthology a few nights ago and I am nearly finished already! It has been a long while since I have been able to sit and finish a book in a reasonable amount of time, and it will be refreshing to reach the end of this book and be reminded again what such an accomplishment feels like. I have been sick (with a cold, but I'm mostly better now) for over a week now, so other than work and school I have otherwise spent most of my time at home filling waste baskets with goobered tissues and hawked spit wads of unspeakably nauseating phlegm. All with the book in my hand. (A bonus of being sick?)

This is the first stuff I have read of George MacDonald. And I like his stuff.

The short excerpts that Lewis has compiled from MacDonald's sermons and fantasy novels can be witty at one moment and violently piercing the next, but still a quenching well of truth in either circumstance. I quickly began to mark the excerpts that spoke to me the most, only to realize twenty pages in that I had marked off more than half of what I read, a mark (or two or three) on every page. So I stopped marking, and just accepted the fact that the entire book spoke to the each eager fiber of my being and it would be pointless to distract a future reader with a sleuth of black inkpen soaking every page.

"The care that is filling your mind at this moment, or but waiting till you lay the book aside to leap upon you--that need which is no need, is a demon sucking at the spring of your life. 'No; mine is a reasonable care--an unavoidable care, indeed.' Is it something you have to do this very moment? 'No.' Then you are allowing it to usurp the place of something that is required of you this moment. 'There is nothing required of me at this moment.' Nay but there is--the greatest thing that can be required of man. 'Pray, what is it?' Trust in the living God....'I do trust Him in spiritual matters.' Everything is an affair of the spirit." - from The Cause of Spiritual Stupidity, an unspoken sermon

"A man is in bondage to whatever he cannot part with that is less than himself." - from The Way, an unspoken sermon

"So long as we have nothing to say to God, nothing to do with Him, save the sunshine of the mind when we feel Him near us, we are poor creatures, willed upon, not willing....And how in such a condition do we generally act? Do we sit mourning over the loss of feeling? Or worse, make frantic efforts to rouse them?" - from The Eloi, an unspoken sermon

I'll be the first to admit my frantic search to rouse feelings. Much of this disease is not the result of some unequipped childhood or a single traumatic event, but is a direct result of the fact that so many aspects of my life have been completely absolved of the guidance of God through my unwillingness to have anything to do with Him. So instead, I forfeit my will to be, and I am "willed upon" by unhealthy outlets that own me and govern my time. Time that I could otherwise choose to spend by saying something to God and having something to do with him, sure acts to the regain of feeling.

I remember walking out of one of my classes the other day and reaching unconsciously into my bag for my iPod, but alas(!), it wasn't there. I remained calm on the outside, but inside I was daunted and uncomfortable by the fact that I'd be spending the next 30 minutes (until I got home) without my iPod! This is slightly disturbing and deserves the amount of thought I am putting into it (again) because the silly thing still owns me; I do not own it. I have enslaved myself (and my feelings) to a plastic device with wires and a shiny screen. "Oh, but it plays music." Yes, yes it does. But all in moderation. My iPod went "out of tune", so to speak. It wasn't there to passively enhance my active thoughts, but to actively encourage passive thoughts. And this is just a 3-by-2 inch object. I have other much bigger and grander items at my disposal, such as my computer, television, dvd player, mirror (I gawk at my pretty self daily...), and the incredibly annoying and time sucking world wide web (including my own blog...). Maybe it's time to pull the plug on a few distractions and say something to Him. You know...have something to do with Him more often than when its merely convenient or expected.

"Never wait for fitter time or place to talk to Him. To wait till thou go to church or to thy closet is to make Him wait. He will listen as thou walkest [without thou's iPod]." - from Righteousness, an unspoken sermon

be inspired, live life and give it

And to think...if it were possible to determine before birth whether or not someone is going to become autistic, many people would encourage abortion for the "benefit of the child".

Bull.

This kid just made my day and he wouldn't have been able to do that if he had his brains sucked out and his body disposed of.

transformers/ratatouille/harry potter

"This is one hundred times better than Armageddon!" *insert the sound of an entire theater of filmgoers writhing and groaning simultaneously*

No, Michael Bay, Armageddon was better.

You fool.

:: B-

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Toys, bugs, monsters, fish, superheros, cars, rats, and next year...a cute little robot. How much you want to bet the dutiful, simple, little robot Wall-e will put Michael Bay's erratic, dyslexic, complicated, and comical (they crack jokes you know...) robots to shame?

I loved Ratatouille. It was awesome.

:: A+

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I just broke one of my own rules and listened to the soundtrack for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix before seeing the movie, and sadly I have to give it a huge thumbs down. Besides the first two tracks ("Fireworks" and "Professor Umbridge"), the rest of the album is muddled and hinged on reactionary cues, where the composer seemingly takes 10 seconds of film, scores it, and then goes on to the next 10 seconds, and scores it. The result is a literal musical translation of the film like that of the literal film translation of the first two books by Chris Columbus. It sounds like an hour of filler.

Of course, I am saying all of this without seeing the film, but from what I've heard on the soundtrack, the film is probably going to be held back by this rather unimpressive score. I love John Williams and I think Patrick Doyle did a superb job in the fourth film, but Nicholas Hooper had better brace himself. With the huge shoes he had to fill he was certainly going to be criticized by fans no matter how good a job he did, but now he is most definitely going to get venomously raked over the coals. And the venom will be all that much stronger considering he will probably be back to score the 6th film if his directing partner David Yates has anything to say about it (we don't want the breaking of a friendship, now do we?).

Bleh. Why can't they just make things simple and bring back successful directors (Cuaron) and composers (Williams) and stop making all of these huge quality risks on film-making and film-scoring newbies? It pains me to think of what the score would have been like with a composer like James Newton Howard, the recently successful John Powell, or the even the spunky, experimental Michael Giacchino. Heck, a generic and regurgitated James Horner rendition would have been more interesting than Hooper's utterly failed attempt at being interesting...

...here's to hoping I have spoken two days too soon, and that the score (still mediocre on disc) fits an excellent film like a glove...

are you smarter than a 5th grader?

I like this show. But am I the only one annoyed by being told at the beginning of every episode what is going to happen? It takes all the wind out of the suspenseful sails of classic gameshow television, and I just don't want to watch it anymore after that.

"Will Mr. Bob answer the 500,000 dollar question right? Wait around and find out!"

Thanks, now I'll just sit here for an hour in complete serenity knowing that the contestant is going to get every question right all the way up to 500,000 dollars.

Its like giving your friend the movie The Sixth Sense with a yellow post-it note on the case that gives away the ending.

Annoying.

Happy Fourth of July!

This is when everybody should stop complaining (like this and this) and acknowledge the fact that they otherwise have the FREEDOM to do so. Please, America can't be all bad. Think positive (for one day)!

And of course, what would we do without YouTube...?

Get your groove on. It's INDEPENDENCE DAY!

church for the masses :: i like big bibles :: friday (sunday?)

(Yes, I know...its Sunday evening and I should have done this friday...but I haven't been home...)