I gave in and admitted that God was God.

7.31.2007

vegansexuals

Words cannot express enough how dumb (yet twistedly smart) I think this is...

Vegansexual? I can just see the painful circumstantial transition now...

"Sweety, let's have sex tonight."

"I'm sorry, didn't you have a hamburger for lunch?"

"Well....yes...but..."

"Ah, no fun tonight for you darling, my love, my husband/wife (c'mon, as if a real man would give up sex over a cow) of 25 years. Maybe next week when your body is rid of the flesh of the poor creature that was slain for your few moments of pitiful, selfish, lingua enjoyment I'll sacrifice myself for you. Until then, goodnight, sleep well, and keep your tongue inside the vegan cart at all times and enjoy the rest of your night here at Disneyland Veggyland, where cows reign and the black market smells of spoiled chicken breasts and In-N-Out." (If you get my meaning.)

What an incredibly powerful ploy to "convert" your significant other to a vegetarian diet. Mother was right: vegetables do make you smart. Maybe even cunning. A bit narcissistic to beat, as well.

Shun the non-believer!!

No comments: